Friday, November 13, 2009

the best seats in the house

the best seats in the house

there are times
no words can be spoken
for they fear they will drown
in the tears that will come

there are times
no words will be held back
despite fear they will drown
in the tears that will come

there were times
i sat still and listened
on the steps to the basement
for their joy and laughter

there were times
i sat still and listened
on the steps by their rooms
for the sounds of their dreams

there were times
i sat still and listened
on the steps of the porch
children ran up and down

there were times
we sat talking through tears
on these steps in our homes
as hearts broke in my arms

there were times
i sat along sobbing
as these steps in our homes
held me close in their arms

there were times
in our lives together
these steps in our homes were
the best seats in the house

tears

the clouds above are weeping ... tender kind tears ... cleansing

Friday, August 14, 2009

long time

Be a long time
Watch alone tonight
You are gone
You had

Sleep while you
My heart in yours
I was beautiful
My plans

Roll the canyon
You’re in my head
Have to survive
Those are alive

Want where never
Lose sorrow free
Name been know
Places have

I was dreaming
With your hands
Following heart
With my

Stand by the side
These rush by
My faces from
Time wasted

And pleasure we
Down this road
Been here before
Be more

Now down five to
You’re in my head
Block out survive
Dream alive

I believed you
And loved years
All these tears
Instead lies

Salty tears heal
Have told me if
I thought of all
I'm alive

Sunday, August 2, 2009

new stairs

these stairs have not been tested
they wait for hearts to open
to
to bear the weight of their needs

7-3-09

what my dream said today 7-6-09

today i saw myself holding me prisoner
both parts are very nice about it
but prisoner none-the-less

tonight i will be released from the prison
both parts will be very nice about it
but free none-the-less

7-6-09

early morning hours

silence speaks loudest
in the early morning hours

the heart hears great things
in the early morning hours

the mind rises to great heights
in the early morning hours

rise before the sun sheds its life
in the early morning hours

tell me please

i want to make ahome i want to be a home i want to live with someone i want to be loved i dont want to work outside but i must i have something that must be said i have something for others to hear so will hear some wont no need to say - what i believe is truth - all else is false - need to be sure it is truth - need to know - tell me please –

vague memory

every once in a while i wonder
where the love went
the love i thought i had - left
it disappeared - gone

like a whisp of hot water leaves
the pot and is - gone
in the cool of the air surrounding
the pot - i wonder if

it was true - of course it was
of course - but doubt - its gone
toady no hint is left - only
the vague memory of the warmth

to ...

the feeling, thought
that i have nothing
to bring to do
value ...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

the best seats in the house

there are times
no words can be spoken
for they fear they will drown
in the tears that will come

there are times
no words will be held back
despite fear they will drown
in the tears that will come

there were times
i sat still and listened
on the steps to the basement
for their joy and laughter

there were times
i sat still and listened
on the steps by their rooms
for the sounds of their dreams

there were times
i sat still and listened
on the steps of the porch
children ran up and down

there were times
we sat talking through tears
on these steps in our homes
as hearts broke in my arms

there were times
i sat alone sobbing
as these steps in our homes
held me close in their arms

there were times
in our lives together
these steps in our homes were
the best seats in the house

Saturday, June 27, 2009

memories bubble up

in the eyes of my children today
echo their eyes of yesterdays
they do not know what my heart sees

in the words of my children today
echo their words of yesterdays
they do not know what my heart hears

in the lives of my children today
echo their lives of yesterdays
they do not know what my heart feels

my heart lives today with purpose
faith, hope and love bind together
a cord of strength, courage and wisdom

Saturday, June 20, 2009

easy - difficult - easy - difficult

gotta say - doing what i had done since a kid came relatively easy
this post mom-on-the-job training is straining my brain :)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

step out into

missing krista shines a light on how much i love each of my kids enjoyed being their mom and how blessed i am to be loved so much by them - love you all lots :) :) :) :)

They each in their turn stepped out into the rest of their lives
I now step out into the rest of my life

Monday, June 8, 2009

memories bubble up

there are many memories of the past that come and go on any given day
it might not surprise you, although it has surprised me, that these memories come faster and more frequent with the passing from one stage of life to another
it might be that i have spent many years absorbing experiences, feelings and circumstances and now they begin to bubble up for me to see then disapear as they light on the palm of my hand leaving the transparent residue in a circle - the image etched in my mind's eye where the heart alone ponders it's relevance for today ...

last and first

tonight the last Monday night

Saturday, June 6, 2009

yesterday was friday - today is saturday

yesterday ... well that was friday but I thought it was saturday - turned into saturday long about 9:30 pm - not sure how but it did (why is a wholenother question ...) - maybe the SNL reference to will farrell on the john stewart show ... anyway, today the birds have heralded the dawning of this Saturday - I get to live - really live this last Saturday as an on-the-job-mom ... yoo-hoo - sort of - yeah ... sob ... yeah - yeah wins this time :) - it is still early morning - bright eyed and bushy tailed - alive today :)

Friday, June 5, 2009

last saturday night

the last saturday night of my being an active - on the job - mom
32 years 6 months 2 days 21 hours - 407 saturday nights - now that is a long term employment - not that the kids would have fired me - they might have thought about it a time or two - they keep me in their lives and for this I will be eternally grateful. I am still my kid's mom allbeit with a revised job description - started 9 years ago and is being revised daily
yeah ... sob ... yeah ... sob ... yeah ... sob
sob wins - for now
 
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Children: Raised by Jane Jones is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.